← The Doomed Mercenary’s Last Chance
Kinain thought everything about this palace was strange beyond measure.
The servants, for instance.
“This scent is nice. Never smelled it before — what is it?”
“…….”
“…..Hmm, so you three are triplets, right?”
“…….”
His voice echoed emptily through the bathhouse. No matter how shameless a person was, they couldn’t keep chattering in this situation. When Kinain closed his mouth, the servants promptly took dried petals from a small pouch and scattered them into the bath. The scent he’d praised grew stronger.
So it’s not that they can’t understand me.
The servants of this palace were, without exception, silent. To what degree? He’d never once seen anyone speak from the moment he’d opened his eyes here until now. Of course, they say it’s best for servants to act as if they had no ears or mouths, but wasn’t this excessive?
And that wasn’t all. Every servant Kinain had seen looked exactly alike. At first he’d thought it was one person, but only after seeing three of them together did he realize those who’d attended him had each been a different person with the same face. Triplets weren’t impossible, but it was a little chilling that he’d never seen a servant with a different face anywhere in this vast palace.
Kinain sank his shivering body deep into the warm bath.
*More importantly… did I always look like this?* He tilted his head at his face reflected on the water’s surface.
‘Others must have held this body, saying they liked it.’
“Hic!”
Kinain started and checked his body. Nothing there. Just clean, smooth skin without a single scar, exactly as he remembered — no scars anywhere.
Kinain blinked blankly. Why had he suddenly thought there’d be scars on his body? And…
What was that voice?
When Kinain, changed into nightclothes after his bath, returned to his room, Asad was standing there as if it were only natural. At this hour the man always came to stay by Kinain’s side until just before he fell asleep.
“Your Highness, did you enjoy today?” Always asking the same question.
Kinain was about to answer with a smile —
‘Don’t smile again. It displeases me.’
— if not for that contemptuous voice ringing out once more.
Kinain’s smile slowly faded.
“Your Highness.”
“…….”
“Your Highness?”
Kinain stared at Asad with a stiff face.
Why? Why does this voice sound exactly like Asad’s?
“Is something the matter?”
“…No.”
Kinain slowly shook his head. From the moment he’d opened his eyes until now, Asad had been a kind and devoted lover. Asad, who treated him as carefully as if he were a doll made of glass, could never say such a thing.
I must be mistaken.
Meeting the worried gaze, Kinain smiled again.
“It’s just, the servants being so silent bothers me.”
“That is because of the contract they signed. I dislike noise, and above all, if word that Your Highness is here leaks outside, troublesome things will happen.” Asad’s words sounded plausible enough, but questions remained. Yet as he had ever since coming to this palace, Kinain didn’t press him on it this time either.
“That aside… last night I tried to step outside for a bit, but the door was locked so I couldn’t get out.” Asad always stuck to Kinain’s side, but kept his distance during bath or sleep. Kinain couldn’t understand why, but it was a good opportunity for him.
Nineteen-year-old Kinain was so active he’d get restless if he didn’t roam outside. Until now he’d behaved himself on account of having lost his memories, but as he grew accustomed to the situation, he gradually wanted to go out. Yet when he’d said so to Asad, the man who’d given him anything he wanted had turned firm for the first time.
“You may not.”
“Why not?”
“It is not yet time.”
“Your Highness’s memories have not fully returned. Once you are completely recovered, you may go out then.”
Asad had a point, and above all Kinain felt his worry was sincere, so he hadn’t insisted on the spot. But inwardly he’d thought otherwise. Though he couldn’t take a single step beyond the door —
Just then, a gloomy voice came from above his head.
“…You tried to go out?”
Kinain snapped out of his thoughts and back to reality. Was it because only a few candles were lit in the room? Asad’s eye color somehow looked darker than usual.
“Have I failed to attend Your Highness satisfactorily?”
“What? No! That’s impossible.”
“If not that, then surely your memories…”
Kinain had expected Asad to get angry or hurt hearing he’d tried to sneak out — not this reaction. He looked almost frightened.
A big man frightened over nothing should have been funny, but whether from his looks or because he was his lover, Kinain felt only pity.
“It’s not that.”
Without realizing it, Kinain pulled Asad into a hug.
“I was just getting stifled staying in the palace, so I thought I’d step out briefly. I was going to come right back.” Asad, who’d been standing stiff as a board, soon hesitated and hugged him back. Kinain felt him gradually calming in his arms.
Why is he so anxious?
Whatever Asad had done, Kinain no longer wanted to see him sad or anxious.
After a moment’s hesitation, Kinain spoke.
“Asad, I don’t know what wrong you’ve done me… but whatever it is, I’ll forgive you.” Asad gave no answer, but Kinain could tell he didn’t take his words to heart. Kinain added,
“You might think I’m only saying this because I don’t remember, but being ten years older doesn’t make me a different person. I don’t know you, but I know myself well.”
Asad still kept his mouth shut and said nothing. Was it really so hard to persuade him, with no memories?
I wish my memories would just come back quickly.
Thinking that, he suddenly felt something damp on his shoulder. At first he mistook it for Asad shedding tears, deeply moved by his words. But it wasn’t.
The moment a metallic smell reached his nose, Kinain hastily pulled back to check Asad’s condition.
“You’re bleeding!”
“Ah.”
Asad wiped under his nose with his hand, not looking particularly surprised. Watching him, Kinain thought *this must be what it feels like for your heart to drop.*
“What’s wrong? Are you sick somewhere?”
“It’s only from fatigue.”
“Why would you bleed from being tired? Have you seen a doctor?” When Asad shook his head, Kinain nagged him to fetch one quickly.
“It’s late at night, I’ll do it next time. Sleep for now.”
“No, I’m worried. When is next time…” Just as Kinain frowned and was about to persuade him once more, Asad lowered his head.
At the shadow falling over his face, Kinain squeezed his eyes shut. He’d thought this moment would come someday, but hadn’t known it would be now. No matter how mentally prepared he’d always been, he couldn’t stop his heart from pounding. Apart from his body, this was his first kiss, after all.
Hm?
But contrary to expectation, nothing touched his lips. When Kinain peeked, Asad was pretending to pick something off near his cheek with two fingers and brush it away.
“…Something was on you. Good night, then.”
Avoiding his gaze, Asad soon turned away as if nothing had happened. But Kinain had no intention of letting him go just like that.
“Wait!”
“What…”
At the urgent voice, Asad spun around, thinking something had happened to Kinain.
Kinain didn’t miss the moment — seizing Asad’s cheeks, he pressed his lips to his.
Undaunted by Asad’s frozen, unmoving reaction, Kinain shamelessly pressed his lips harder. It was a little embarrassing to kiss someone for the first time, but wasn’t this what lovers did? He didn’t remember, but they’d surely done plenty already.
Kinain kept his lips pressed long enough to be satisfied, then pulled away with a smack. Looking up at Asad with a triumphant gaze, Kinain grinned.
“Can’t get my hopes up and just leave.”
Asad’s eyes, holding Kinain’s face, darkened thickly. Unaware, Kinain casually brought his lips to Asad’s again.
In that instant, a large hand seized the back of his neck. As Kinain flinched in surprise, a hot tongue pushed between his lips.
“Mmph!”
What is this?
The kiss Kinain had imagined was something dreamlike, sweet and soft. At least, the kisses he’d heard about from others were like that.
But this was completely different. It felt less like a kiss and more like being swallowed whole.
When Asad finally pulled away, Kinain could only pant harshly, not even wiping the trailing saliva.
Asad looked down at Kinain with eyes so dark they seemed black. He whispered in a hoarse voice,
“Don’t… provoke me too much.”
With those words, Asad walked out the door and did not return.
Kinain, who’d been blankly staring at the door he’d left through, only calmed his heart after a long time had passed. He’d thought Asad would come to him in his sleep as always, but no one came to his room until dawn broke.
***
Asad stayed up all night, because he knew that if he fell asleep, he would seek out Kinain. He didn’t fall asleep even without trying.
He found himself loathsome for failing to endure to the end. How dare he lay hands on Kinain?
The reason the present Kinain showed him unconditional favor was because he had no memories. Knowing this, Asad still couldn’t help being shaken by the soft gazes and smiles. Especially when Kinain said he would forgive him…
Asad found himself revolting for harboring hope at those words.
Unfortunately for Asad, that day had undoubtedly stimulated Kinain. After that day, Kinain began seducing Asad at every turn. Skinship grew frequent, and there were countless times he kissed Asad’s lips or cheeks first under the pretext of greeting.
Asad was learning to the bone just how proactive and fearless nineteen-year-old Kinain was with his feelings.
Even such a Kinain would never have acted that way if he’d known how much Asad was holding back.
Every moment, Asad forcibly pressed down the desire to devour Kinain on the spot. Asad understood Maira’s choice to swallow her mate and become one. Then they could never be parted again.
The reason Asad didn’t was because what he wanted wasn’t his own happiness.
On the other hand, it was an undeniable fact that this moment felt to him like a sweet dream.
Thinking he mustn’t, yet deep in his heart a wish bloomed that this dream would never break — Asad kept trampling that feeling to death.
Leave a Reply