← The Doomed Mercenary’s Last Chance
“Asad, right now your mate has lost even the memories that once made him give up on life. Rather, this might be an opportunity. Make him wish before all of his memories return. Make him hold the desire to live.”
“…….”
“You swore with Sinsuriel. That you would never demand any wish from your mate. But even without words, you can instill in him the desire to live.”
“Remember that the time given is not long. That this is the last chance.”
***
It had already been over three days since Kinain came to stay at Asad’s palace.
Opening his eyes, Kinain realized he was crumpled up, held tight in a huge man’s arms.
With his cheek squashed against a hard chest, he let out a short sigh.
“Doing this again.”
The bed was so wide, yet Asad always fell asleep holding him close. As if believing Kinain would drift away somewhere if he didn’t.
In fact, the two of them hadn’t originally shared a bed. No matter that they were lovers, Kinain — with no memories — had thought sharing a bed was too much, and Asad had agreed.
Ugh, what the…?
But he’d woken in the middle of a good sleep feeling crushed under a boulder, only to find Asad holding him, sleeping like he’d passed out.
Asad had apologized, promising never to do it again, but the next day and the day after, the same thing repeated.
Kinain’s expression turned faintly serious.
*Affection deprivation? Or separation anxiety? Isn’t that something dogs get?* Kinain didn’t bother trying to escape Asad’s arms anymore. He’d already tried on the first and second days and learned it was impossible. Besides, as the saying goes, humans are creatures of adaptation — three days in, this warmth and pressure felt rather comfortable instead.
Because we’re lovers, I suppose?
They say the head may not remember, but the body does.
Swordsmanship aside, Kinain was a complete novice when it came to romance, but he didn’t doubt that Asad was his lover. He’d catch himself talking to Asad before he knew it, his gaze chasing the man whenever he had the chance — if this wasn’t the feeling of being in love, he couldn’t explain what it was, ignorant as he was.
And not only that…
Feeling something hard against his thigh, Kinain pointlessly wiggled his toes. He tried to think of something else, but its presence was too great. His ears grew steadily redder.
He’d often swum naked in the valleys with friends, but he’d never felt like this. The only thing that had ever made Kinain’s heart race was a sword, so he’d never even tried masturbation, something all the other kids his age did. In other words, he’d never particularly felt sexual desire.
For Kinain, the sensation now ruling his body was strange and new.
He said he’s thirty, so he’s surely done everything, right?
He’d received royal instruction on the act itself, so he roughly knew about it — but thinking of it as something that concerned him felt odd. Above all, what he’d been taught was about relations with an omega, and his partner was an alpha, wasn’t he?
Between alphas… how does that work…?
Then suddenly, Kinain realized something.
“Huh, that’s strange.”
“What is, pray tell?”
A low voice answered as if it had been waiting. While Kinain had been lost in thought, Asad seemed to have woken.
He must have answered half-asleep — belatedly realizing he was holding Kinain as if to bury him in his chest, Asad started and let him go.
“I’ve done it again… My apologies.”
“No, it’s fine.”
Not wanting Asad to catch that his ears were burning, Kinain pretended to touch his ear as he answered.
Since the second day, when he’d once accidentally dropped formal speech, Kinain had been speaking casually to Asad. Asad said the two of them had originally spoken this way, and Kinain — never much accustomed to speaking formally to anyone — had readily accepted it.
“More importantly, my body feels a bit strange?”
“Strange, how? Where?”
A large hand began hastily feeling over Kinain’s body, flustered. There was no sexual intent in the touch, but Kinain found it hard to take it that way.
Before the heat in his ears could spread across his whole body, Kinain caught the hand roaming over him. Though he hadn’t used any real force, Asad started and pulled his hand away, as if only then realizing he’d been blindly groping Kinain.
“My apologies.”
“What I meant by strange is that I can’t sense any pheromones.” No matter how well one controlled their pheromones, everyone leaked a little in sleep.
At this close a distance, not smelling them would be strange. Of course, it was because the false body Maira had made lacked pheromone glands — but Kinain naturally didn’t know that.
“You must not be in good condition right now.”
Is that it? Well, if I lost my memories, it must have been a serious accident. It doesn’t feel real, though — for a fall from a horse, there’s nowhere visibly hurt on the outside.
For three days, Kinain had pestered Asad with this and that, satisfying his curiosity. As far as Kinain knew, he’d lost his memories from the shock of falling off a horse, and had fled to Asad’s palace to escape parents who opposed his marriage to an alpha.
There was plenty more he wanted to ask. How Asad had become master of such a grand palace. Why none of the servants here ever smiled and were only ever gruff. But every time Kinain asked something, Asad’s complexion grew visibly worse, so he couldn’t bring himself to press further.
Still, I have to ask this one.
“Say, was I a really awful lover?”
“What do you mean…?”
“If not, there’s no way you’d keep apologizing to your lover like this.” That was the entirety of Kinain’s complaint about his lover.
That he said “I’m sorry” at the drop of a hat.
Even in his sleep, mumbling it in his dreams.
For three days, Asad had behaved like a textbook on the perfect lover. To Kinain, it was almost frightening.
Without Kinain even voicing it, Asad produced whatever he wanted before his eyes, as if reading his mind. He even pressed into his hands things he hadn’t particularly wanted, calling them gifts.
By Asad’s account, Kinain was a fugitive from the kingdom and could no longer even be called a prince — yet right now he was far richer than when he’d been a prince.
The finest silks and every kind of jewel, robes embroidered with gold and silver, belts adorned with delicately worked gems, coats of rare furs, famed swords that looked like they could cut iron…
“They are all Your Highness’s.”
With those words, everything became Kinain’s.
He was glad his lover wasn’t poor, but it was all a bit much. He wasn’t a centipede — did he really need hundreds of pairs of shoes?
It wasn’t just the gifts that were excessive. There was something abnormal about Asad’s attitude, hardly like how one treated a lover. If he wished it, Kinain probably could have lived without ever setting foot on the floor. Judging by his behavior, Asad would have been sincerely delighted by such a request.
If this was Asad’s way of proving his affection, Kinain could understand it. But he couldn’t understand doing so much while constantly speaking as if he’d done wrong.
“We’re lovers. I don’t want to hear ‘I’m sorry’ over every little thing. Sometimes your attitude feels less like how you’d treat a lover and more like serving a master. Or did you really do something terrible to me?”
The last was only a joke. But the moment he saw Asad’s expression, he realized he’d said the wrong thing.
“….”
An awkward silence hung. Kinain, with no memory of anything, had no idea what to say.
Honestly, he didn’t think Asad could have done anything terribly wrong. Anyone could see Asad loved him so dearly. Kinain figured he just felt guilty over nothing, apologizing for the smallest things.
Just then, Asad carefully rose from the bed. And knelt before Kinain.
“Your Highness, if I dared to wish for something… it would not be your forgiveness.” Kinain watched as a large hand lifted his ankle. Then, beautiful lips pressed a kiss to the top of his foot.
“What I wish for is…”
The voice was too small for Kinain to hear. So Kinain could only blush like a young boy who’d seen something indecent, at a complete loss.
Until that moment, Kinain had thought he could forgive this beautiful man whatever wrong he’d done.
‘Don’t smile again. It displeases me.’
‘Dying like that would be far too easy.’
‘I dislike you, but I don’t dislike your body. That’s enough, isn’t it?’
That was before the memories of that day came back.
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