← The Resurrected Guide Wants to Live Quietly
He sat obediently and waited, and before long Yu-geon brought out a big bowl heaped with porridge, along with several side dishes.
He lifted the lid, and a savory smell hit his nose. Abalone porridge. So lavish you might wonder if there was more abalone than rice. Probably the priciest of everything in there.
"Tell me if you can’t eat it. I’ll get you something else."
"No. I’ll eat it."
He couldn’t bring himself to pick up his spoon until he noticed Yu-geon watching him with concern, and came to himself.
Well, Yu-geon wasn’t a minor anymore. He probably earned far more than "Lee Ha-neul." A bowl of porridge was fine to accept.
"Thank you for the meal."
If he didn’t eat quickly, this stable wavelength might scatter again. Best not to provoke it.
Armed with a sense of duty, he took his first spoonful—and startled.
…It was delicious.
He did always eat vegetable porridge, but among all the porridges, he’d chosen it less out of love than because it was relatively cheap.
Living as "Seon Yi-yeon," he’d never once been moved by food. Whether it was the burns on his tongue or something purely mental, he didn’t know, but either way there was nothing he particularly wanted to eat, and he had no memory of finding anything "delicious."
So he’d figured it was enough to get the nutrients in, and mostly just ate whatever was cheap.
But now—maybe because his body had recovered and the weight that had pressed on his whole being had lifted—eating the same food felt entirely different.
It was delicious. From the savory scent tickling his nose, to the chewy bite of abalone now and then, to the mild but savory flavor spreading over his tongue, to the way a bit of braised beef or salted seafood on top combined into new textures and tastes.
He hadn’t realized until just now how hungry he was; the hand holding his spoon moved faster and faster.
"How is it? Edible?"
With his mouth full, he couldn’t open it, and only nodded.
It was a rather rude thing to do, but Yu-geon, watching him, had a smile in full bloom on his face.
"Good. You eat well."
This was the first time Yi-yeon had seen Yu-geon smile so brightly. He hadn’t known he had this side. How had he watched him for so long and never known? He was so startled his spoon veered toward his cheek instead of his mouth.
But even that just looked cute to Yu-geon, who laughed aloud and brought a tissue to wipe the corner of his mouth.
"Ha-neul, eat other things too. You can leave that. At your age you need to eat a bit of everything. That’s how you grow taller and healthier."
"…Khh."
A string of remarks he had no idea how to react to made him nearly choke.
He hastily turned away and drank some water, and Yu-geon heated up the other porridges and, before he could refuse, ladled a little of this and a little of that into his bowl. It was practically a buffet, and with those eyes full of expectation—surely you’ll eat this well too—he couldn’t bring himself to refuse, so he ate everything he was given, and his stomach was soon fit to burst.
He set his spoon down, unable to eat more, but Yu-geon only kept watching him with that smiling face.
"Um, aren’t you eating, Esper-nim?"
"I will. Just a sec."
Saying he would eat, Yu-geon stood up instead of picking up his spoon. And at his next action, Yi-yeon’s eyes went round.
Yu-geon had lied. There was vegetable porridge. And while he’d fed all the other porridges to "Lee Ha-neul," that one alone had been kept back, brand new, and only now was being heated up.
Why lie? To eat it himself? But… hadn’t he said he had bad memories attached to it?
While he debated whether this was a topic he could ask about, Yu-geon took the heated porridge and seemed about to bring it to the table, then walked right past it, somewhere else.
Click. He heard a lock disengage, and Yu-geon went into—…"Seon Yi-yeon’s" room—carrying the vegetable porridge.
"Oh…"
Why bring food into a room with no owner?
No one could be inside. There wasn’t a hint of a presence. Then…
He remembered the cold gaze from behind him when he’d tried the door, and hesitated for a moment, but his curiosity won.
He got up to follow, but before he even reached the door, Yu-geon came out.
"…What?"
"Ah, no, nothing."
Blocked by that huge body, he couldn’t see what things were like inside at all. Before he could crane his neck, the door closed and locks of several kinds were engaged.
Honestly, what his room had become wasn’t all that important. It was Yu-geon’s expression… His lips wore a faint smile, but he didn’t look like he was smiling at all. It was closer to someone floundering in a grief too large to bear, with no room left to show honest feeling.
So he wanted to hug him. To tell him not to be sad for no reason.
"Ha-neul, what are you doing?"
"Ah."
He’d thought he’d only thought it, but his arms were already around Yu-geon.
His heart dropped, remembering the Yu-geon of the days when he’d flinch and flee at the mere approach, let alone allow touch. At least he was smiling now, but… honestly, his pride would sting.
"Your wavelength’s getting unstable." Which was true, at least.
Though as an excuse it was close to flimsy—Yu-geon, for all his visibly gloomy face, was managing his feelings surprisingly well. No, not even seesawing; he was, if anything, calmly settled.
"…Yeah."
What? He’d braced for being shaken off—don’t touch me carelessly—but Yu-geon yielded his body with surprising meekness. He even seemed to lean in slightly. Not putting his weight on him, but enough to feel that he was relying on him.
The hand that had been around his waist came up to his head and stroked it. He wondered if he was being treated like a puppy, but decided not to make an issue of it. If it helped turn his mood around, it was a good thing.
"So, Ha-neul. Were you going to guide me?"
"Ah…"
Honestly, he had no intention of guiding Yu-geon any further.
Things were fairly stable now, and last night he’d done quite a lot of shameful things. Now that he knew this was the old house full of memories with Yu-geon, he didn’t want any more close contact with the boy who had once been his ward. Seonyeon had plenty of capable guides anyway; there was no need for a clumsy rookie to step up.
But the arms that had hugged Yu-geon on their own were the problem. Having said guiding was the purpose, he had to take responsibility.
"…Yes."
Let’s get it over with fast. Knowing things were stable now, there was no reason to be swayed further. A moderate amount, and done.
He squeezed his eyes shut and lifted his head.
"…With that face…"
Maybe his dislike was written all over his face. Yu-geon, who had been about to kiss him outright while cupping his cheek, stopped where their noses touched and laughed as if it were absurd.
That laugh swelled his guilt. He’d meant to just honestly say he wanted to comfort him and push him away, say no guiding—but then something slipped deep into his mouth.
Cloth. No, clothing. Yu-geon had pulled up the shirt Yi-yeon was wearing and pushed its hem into his mouth. Enough to lay his chest bare.
He stared with round eyes, and Yu-geon was unbuttoning his own shirt, opening the front.
"If you don’t want to, we don’t have to do mucous-membrane guiding. Let’s just do this much this time."
"…Mmph."
Once he’d undone everything, two hands caressed his waist and back. At the low murmur, his chest ached and tingled again.
Damn that fake registered age—he kept hearing strange things because of it.
No, wait, Yu-geon was only in his mid-twenties now. He wasn’t in a position to treat others as children, so why did he keep treating him like a kid?
Before eyes full of complaint could even take Yu-geon in, those big hands with their distinct knuckles pressed into the small of his back. Yi-yeon’s body was shoved forward, and their torsos pressed flush. From belly to chest, bare—
And in a single instant, Yu-geon pushed into Seon Yi-yeon. "Hnngh."
He bit down hard on the shirt hem in his mouth.
He’d expected to be swallowed by pitch-black darkness as before, but no. His eyes still caught the light; his vision was clear.
But he was unmistakably being dominated by Yu-geon.
It was an unfamiliar feeling. The presence of the body touching his was too large. It was as if every sense was being filled with the esper’s, dominating his senses, paralyzing his nerves so his body couldn’t move, even burrowing into his head to read his thoughts.
Belatedly he wanted to keep him from coming any deeper, but in the middle of guiding he could barely budge.
"Ha… you eat so, deliciously well."
It should have been Yi-yeon being devoured from the inside, but Yu-geon seemed to feel the opposite. Voicing the exact reverse impression, Yu-geon smiled the way he had watching "Lee Ha-neul" eat porridge so well—so brightly—as he stretched, as if waking up inside Yi-yeon, widening his territory.
In the end Yi-yeon gave up stopping his invasion. Barely, just barely, he held only the final line of defense, and tried to focus on guiding.
"Mmph, hn…"
"Ah, damn… this feels, too good."
The pleasure gained through guiding was said to be many times greater for the esper than the guide, so that was probably it.
Yu-geon’s heartbeat was incomparably faster than at first, and his body temperature had risen. His wavelength had stabilized a great deal too. A fine result for simple contact guiding—unbelievably so. Better than thirty minutes of mucous-membrane guiding.
This should be enough. He set down the clothing he’d been biting and gathered in the guiding energy he’d been pouring into Yu-geon.
"You did well."
"Thank you… for your hard work…"
Every sense that had been taking Yu-geon in so keenly dulled all at once, as if a lid had closed. His head felt oddly foggy and his whole body tingled, as if Yu-geon’s trace had been faintly engraved inside him, but it wasn’t unpleasant. He only quietly resolved never to guide anyone else this way.
But… strangely, even though the guiding was over, Yu-geon didn’t release the embrace. Straightening the crumpled clothing as he pulled it down, the arm around his waist only tightened. Beyond the intent of supporting a guide gone limp—it was as if to restrain him.
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