Chapter 12
“I will have to teach you how to cry again too. You do not even know how to cry out loud.” Seo Young-woo wiped Baek Jin’s face, which had become a mess with tears, with his hand. If tears leaked out again, he wiped them, and wiped them again.
But seeing the tears, which did not stop easily, he in the end supported Baek Jin’s neck and back and raised him up.
“I want to leave you to cry, but your body is not well right now. If you cry more, your head will hurt too.” Seo Young-woo, who sat Baek Jin so that his back leaned against the head of the bed, this time placed his palm on his reddened cheek. Cooling the warm heat, he gently stroked around his eyes with his thumb so that it would not hurt.
“I’m sorry I came to see you late. Mister should have come much sooner.” He wanted to shake his head, but a headache followed. It had been a really long time since he had experienced that crying makes your head hurt.
“How do you think your body feels?”
“…My head hurts.”
“That is because you cried.”
A small laugh was heard, and then the hand that had cupped his cheek fell away. Baek Jin lifted his hand, which felt only heavy, and quickly grabbed Seo Young-woo’s fingertips. But he could not bring himself to say the words asking him not to go.
He wished he would not go. Even without this kind of affection, could he not just stay beside him? The plea that he wished he would just be by his side circled inside his mouth. At his weakened heart, tears that had flowed again ran down his cheek.
“I… still hurt.”
They were words Baek Jin barely managed to get out. His body was heavy, but the only sore place was his head, with only a slight headache. Then Seo Young-woo, who had been standing, tilted his head slightly.
“Just, here and there…”
“Here and there hurts.”
Seo Young-woo answered with a feigned serious face and wiped away with the back of his hand the tear hanging from Baek Jin’s chin.
“Then do we need to do surgery.”
“…”
“Though I treated all the external wounds with guiding.”
What should he do with this. Seo Young-woo, muttering low, pulled the curtain slightly and peered outside. At the expression that clearly showed disappointment, he swallowed a laugh inside and closed the curtain completely.
“Shall we try guiding again?
In the way they do it here.” Seo Young-woo quickly added the words. The guiding Baek Jin knew would be completely different from the normal way, after all. Baek Jin nodded as if he had been waiting, without even knowing what it was.
Seo Young-woo took off his shoes, climbed right up onto the bed, sat down, and pulled Baek Jin toward him. He held Baek Jin, who was pulled in obediently, in his arms and patted his back here and there.
“This is contact guiding. Holding hands, or hugging. When here and there does not hurt anymore and you are all better, I will teach you again.” It was the regulations that guiding could not be done anywhere other than a designated place. If the reason was a headache, it made even less sense. But since it seemed this was the first time Baek Jin was showing himself like this, could he not pretend not to know, just once.
Baek Jin, who had stiffened for a while as if being held was awkward, slowly relaxed his strength. His body, which became lighter faster than when they had held hands, soon made even the headache disappear.
But Baek Jin swallowed the words that he did not hurt anymore, and burrowed deeper into Seo Young-woo’s embrace.
***
The food that filled the wide table was still warm, as steam rose from it in curls. With a delicious smell added on top of that, saliva pooled at the tip of his tongue. He had starved for several days with nothing but water, so just seeing the food before his eyes, a hunger that felt as if it were squeezing his organs rushed in.
“Eat only as much as you can eat. Do not overdo it.”
As soon as the permission fell, Baek Jin’s hand picked up the chicken that his eyes had kept going to since earlier. Before even putting it in his mouth, he swallowed the saliva that had pooled and bit into the well-fried, golden chicken leg.
Seo Young-woo sat across from him, poured an ion drink into a cup, set it down in front of him, and propped his chin. And as he watched Baek Jin eat, he let out a hollow laugh. An esper was an esper, after all. An ordinary person would have had to receive an IV and start eating slowly, beginning with rice porridge.
“Drink your drink too.”
Baek Jin listened well. Even while hurriedly putting food into his mouth, if it was Seo Young-woo’s word, he immediately stopped his movements and drank the drink. Then, when permission fell, he started his meal again.
He ate quickly, but he did not eat ravenously. It was to the point that Seo Young-woo wondered whether, if he had known Baek Jin ate this well, he should have bought him food to take along from when he had been at the research center.
Maybe he had gotten tired of the fried chicken, because he ate the seasoned chicken too, and when it felt greasy, he drank his drink. Seo Young-woo had deliberately bought tacos and steak as well, thinking Baek Jin must have spent many days abroad, but surprisingly, the first things to run out were Korean foods like gimbap. The Western food, by contrast, he ate only reluctantly.
Seeing him eat well put Seo’s mind at ease. The saying that even someone on the brink of death would get better if they ate well was true. If he kept eating like this, he would put on weight in no time.
“Is it good?”
At Seo’s question, Baek Jin, realizing it belatedly with an oh, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“……Aren’t you eating, Mister?”
“I ate first.”
Seo tore open a wet wipe that had come in the bag with the packaging, wiped the sauce off the back of Baek Jin’s hand, and pushed the food toward him, telling him to eat more.
Only after he had polished off nearly four servings did Baek Jin’s hand finally stop. Perhaps because he was eating real food after receiving only IV fluids and nutritional supplements, life came back into his eyes.
“I ate it all…….”
“You did. You really ate it all.”
Watching him eat so well even gave Seo an appetite, for the first time in a very long while. Of course, it vanished again quickly. Seeing that he had finished all the food, Seo naturally thought that from now on he should keep plenty of food stocked at home.
Just as Seo was about to clear up and bring up the main point, Baek Jin hurriedly began clearing away the things he had eaten, watching for a reaction that had not even been given.
“Go over there and wash your hands.”
“I, I’ll finish clearing up and then wash.” “It’s fine, so wash your hands first. That comes first.”
Seo watched Baek Jin go reluctantly to wash his hands, then finished tidying the half-cleared trash himself. But less than ten seconds after Baek Jin had gone to wash, he came hurrying back, shaking water off his hands.
“Did you wash them properly with soap?”
When there was no answer, Seo pointed back at the sink with his chin. Watching Baek Jin go back, his shoulders slumped, Seo let out a low laugh and finished tidying the trash.
What was this, raising a child or something.
***
After finishing the meal that way, he took a light walk around the building with the man. After they had digested to some extent, they headed back to the hospital room.
What would happen now? Now that his treatment was over, would he be sent back to where he had been?
Looking at the oversized slippers dragging along, Baek Jin quietly steadied his heart. Being stubborn once was enough. Anyone got tired of someone quickly if they threw a tantrum.
“Jin-ah.”
At the voice beside him, Baek Jin lifted his head.
“From now on, we’re going to live together.”
“Let’s go home.”
At the man’s words, the figures of the people who had adopted Baek Jin over the years passed by in a line. Even if, after a long time, he could not remember their faces, he had not completely forgotten the atmosphere or the season of those times.
Joy at not being alone mixed with the fear that he would be abandoned again, but still, the fact that the person taking him away this time was this man was, in one way, a relief.
“……Thank you. Please take good care of me.”
Recalling the greeting he always gave whenever an adoption was decided, Baek Jin lifted the corners of his mouth slightly.
An adoption without consent had begun again. In this endless cycle, Baek Jin had no choice but to follow along. But he had no expectations. He knew better than anyone that he would be abandoned again.
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