Eunseo spent Friday quietly. Fortunately there were only a few calls from work, and Jaeheon was very quiet too. By late afternoon the pill’s side effects had all faded and the cold felt a little better. But the aftermath still lingered, and Eunseo fell asleep feeling slight muscle pain, then woke the next morning to a vibration.
*Han Jaeheon, Executive Director*
The expected contact from the expected person. But Eunseo hadn’t thought the contact would come this fast.
“Ah….”
It disconnected. Remembering Jaeheon’s words — I won’t force you, but I can make you come to me first — Eunseo tried to call back. Attempting to refuse now seemed meaningless. Just as he hesitated over the call button, his phone started ringing again.
“…Yes, this is Shin Eunseo.”
“Sleep well?”
“Yes…”
“Sounds like you just woke up. You still sound half-asleep.”
“And are you feeling a bit better?”
Eunseo sat up and began smoothing out the badly bunched blanket. At some point he’d started sleeping hugging the blanket bunched up like that — even when it was cold enough to catch a cold from it.
“I think I’ll arrive in about five minutes.”
“…What??”
“I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“Why? Ah, I’m right now….”
“What do you mean, why.”
Jaeheon laughed for a while in a rather clear voice. Eunseo woke fully. Throwing the curtains wide, getting completely out of bed, Eunseo rushed out of the room in a fluster. Getting ready in five minutes was impossible no matter what.
“We didn’t exactly set a time.”
“Just stay as you are for now.”
“…Yes.”
He’d thought it was early, but the clock was already past nine in the morning. Even on Saturdays he usually woke around eight — why had he slept so much? Eunseo hurriedly splashed cold water on his face to wake up and brushed his teeth quickly. Last week’s fatigue must really have piled up.
No sooner had he come out of the bathroom than the intercom rang. Fear seized him all at once, but he couldn’t back out now. Why, this early in the morning…. Chewing his lip, Eunseo unlocked the front door at the light knock-knock on the door.
“…Hello?”
“Good morning.”
“You don’t look good at all, Sunbae.”
Was he that much of a mess? Eunseo rubbed his gaunt cheeks and slightly puffy eyelids with the back of his hand. Jaeheon strode inside and smoothly lifted his chin, but Eunseo deliberately avoided his gaze. Jaeheon’s hair was lightly styled too, and his outfit a neat coat, knit, and slacks — which only made the comparison worse, with Eunseo in shorts and a stretched-out short-sleeve tee.
“Didn’t sleep well?”
“Ah, no… I think it’s from sleeping too much.”
“You sound awfully stiff.”
Eunseo, about to retort, fell silent as warmth touched his lips with a smack. How was he supposed to interpret this constant, unceasing physical contact.
“I bought breakfast. Go wash up and come out.”
“Breakfast?”
“Sandwiches.”
Since he hadn’t gone to work, Eunseo’s dinner last night had been retort food — instant rice and heat-and-eat tuna kimchi rice-bowl sauce. Sandwiches were at a similar level, but they’d still be far fresher than microwaved food.
Eunseo showered quickly and came out. With Han Jaeheon outside, he couldn’t bring himself to linger in the bathroom. He pulled clothes onto his half-wet body and emerged with nothing but a towel draped over his uncombed hair, only to be startled by the empty living room and hurry to his own room.
Han Jaeheon stood in the middle of the sunlit room and glanced back. There was nothing particularly incriminating in there, but the mere fact of him laying eyes on Eunseo’s private space made him a little self-conscious.
“There’s nothing here.”
“…Yes.”
The bookshelf held nothing but academic papers, journals, textbooks, and a few bestselling novels. Eunseo hadn’t even kept the usual graduation albums. Jaeheon reached out, pulled out one of the novels, and flipped through it.
“Is it good?”
“Yes?… Yes, it’s a light read.”
“Still so stiff.”
The book Jaeheon held was a mystery novel set around a murder case. He looked once more at the cover with its grotesque illustration, slid it back onto the shelf, and curved his lips slightly.
“You’ll catch a cold.”
“I’m fine.”
Surely he wasn’t going to dry his hair for him — Eunseo dodged the arm reaching toward him and, hurriedly shaking his wet hair, went back into the bathroom. Better to dry it quickly with the hair dryer than entrust his head to Han Jaeheon.
When he came out with his hair half-dried, Jaeheon was sitting at the dining table. On the table were croissant sandwiches and croque-monsieurs, along with warm coffee from god knows where.
“Did your secretary bring this?”
“Secretaries need their weekends off too.”
“Then you…?” Eunseo tried to recall whether Jaeheon had been carrying anything when he’d come in, but the sensation of the kiss that had followed before he was fully awake was too overwhelming to remember anything.
“Eat.”
Jaeheon moved half a sandwich onto the plate in front of him and urged him in a calm voice. After dithering for a while, Eunseo moved the paper-wrapped croque-monsieur onto Jaeheon’s plate. No matter that he was two years younger, he was an executive director of the company, his superior — Eunseo couldn’t bring himself to put the sandwich in his mouth first.
“You eat too, Executive Director…”
Jaeheon’s eyes went round for a moment, then narrowed like a contented cat. A softness like fine milk foam settled over his slightly drooping eyes. It was the kind of expression anyone would misread, and Eunseo felt a brief pang in his chest, but quickly looked away. Jaeheon would never look at him in that way.
“But… this early in the morning…”
“I haven’t really thought about what to do.”
Wasn’t there only one thing to do? Eunseo chewed his sandwich, unable to hide his bewilderment. Jaeheon watched his expression closely and said nothing more until Eunseo had finished half the sandwich.
“Have this too.”
Jaeheon moved the remaining croque-monsieur onto Eunseo’s plate as well. Just how much was he planning to feed him — Eunseo thought of the Jaeheon who had driven him so relentlessly and sighed softly. He held the warm, fragrant coffee in his mouth for a moment before swallowing, and his stomach warmed a little.
“One moment.”
The phone Jaeheon had left face-down on the table vibrated. He glanced at the screen, then turned slightly to take the call.
“Yeah, noona.”
Noona? Eunseo, biting into the greasy bread, froze mid-motion. Ah, right — he’d said he had a sister and a brother. He hadn’t heard anything good about the brother, but he’d said he sometimes traveled with his sister. …He didn’t want to think too deeply. The more he knew, the closer he got, the harder it would be to let go, the harder for his feelings to cool.
“No. I’m busy.”
His tone, tossed off in casual banmal, was steeped in annoyance.
“Brother-in-law?… The States? Ah… I see.”
Jaeheon shot up from his seat and paced the living room a few times. Then he hung up curtly and gazed at Eunseo, who was left drinking the rest of his coffee.
“Sunbae.”
“Yes?”
“Sorry, but…”
Was he saying he’d head back for today? Eunseo looked at Jaeheon with eyes full of great relief and small regret. At that naked shift in attitude, Jaeheon laughed quietly for a moment, then came back to sit at the table.
“Come somewhere with me for a bit.”
“…Where?”
“Something came up.”
“I…”
He’d rather tangle bodies than do anything else. He didn’t want to eat breakfast facing each other like this, didn’t want to be looked after because he was sick, didn’t want to spend the day together.
“It’s the weekend — spare me some time.”
“You’re not as busy on weekends as you were in grad school.”
Jaeheon started wheedling like he had back in their student days. No threats, but a coaxing far more powerful than that.
Eunseo propped his arms on the table and barely dodged the gaze of the man leaning his upper body toward him. What was he supposed to do about him. Eunseo let out a deep breath. There was no escaping Jaeheon, who shook him up so recklessly — he felt utterly at a loss.
Was it that he didn’t want to spend time with him? Feelings that hadn’t fully cooled despite the petty blackmail remained, pathetic and lingering, and he hated himself — hated the self that couldn’t throw away feelings whose end was already decided. Swallowing the vicious self-loathing, Eunseo shook his head once more.
“Hmm…”
Jaeheon rested his chin on his hand and began tapping Eunseo’s cheek with a finger. Time passed with no conversation, and Eunseo could hardly breathe from the pressure of that still gaze.
He put his mouth to the already-empty coffee cup, tipped it back several times, and finally just kept clenching and unclenching the fingers he’d gathered under the table.
“They say the kid has to stay home alone.”
“…Yes?”
“My nephew. He’s five now.”
“…….”
“You can’t leave him home alone. My brother-in-law went to the States, and my sister says she has an important engagement.”
“A child… is home alone?”
“Yes. She says she’s going out in a couple of hours.”
What to do — could a barely-five-year-old stay home alone? Eunseo’s heart raced, then he came back to his senses. But did he really need to go?
“I’ve never watched a kid before.” …Did he really need to go?
“What do five-year-olds play? Like throwing them around?”
Jaeheon made a gesture like tossing a child into the air. The image of a child being flung mercilessly through the air came vividly to mind, and Eunseo squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them. Still, did he really need to go…
“Or maybe I’ll just leave him alone and stay here. Can’t a five-year-old stay home alone?”
The moment a smile bloomed on that smooth face, Eunseo closed his eyes long, then opened them. He already felt caught in a trap. It was as if Jaeheon were tugging at the chain in his hand.
“How could a five-year-old stay home alone…”
“They can’t?”
“They can’t.”
“Then you’ll come with me?”
Jaeheon leaned his upper body a little closer. Uncomfortable with the distance, close enough for their breath to mingle, Eunseo turned his head away as he answered.
“…Understood.”
“She said she’s leaving at noon, so leaving in about twenty minutes should work.”
It felt like he’d fallen for Jaeheon’s trick, but there was no taking it back now. Jaeheon gave Eunseo’s back a shove toward the bedroom, gathered the empty dishes from the table into the sink, and started washing them simply. Jaeheon, doing the dishes — what an ill-matched combination, Eunseo thought, listening to the sound of the water for a moment before starting to change.
He’d been tricked. The moment he saw the child come toddling over and throw itself into Jaeheon’s arms, Eunseo couldn’t help but think he’d been tricked. Jaeheon lifted the child with a practiced touch, and the child clung to its uncle, flaunting its affection. Just looking at them, the claim that he’d never watched his nephew was a bald-faced lie.
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