These days, Se-hyeon’s pockets always held candy or chocolate. He hadn’t been the type to carry sweets around even though he liked them, but ever since Cheong-o — who appeared without a sound and pressed food into his hand — it was his doing.
Thinking about it, it had started when he’d received the grape candy. In the cafeteria or the Center, while walking for a stroll or sitting on a bench — somehow knowing, Cheong-o would pop up, hand him a snack, and vanish.
His mouth never had a dull moment. Today too, as he was leaving the cafeteria, he looked up at the body blocking his way and found Cheong-o waving a lollipop. Yesterday it was apple, today lemon. He should be used to it by now, but Se-hyeon still flinched in surprise every time Cheong-o popped up.
Why does he give me candy every time… does he think I’m a kid?
Thinking of Cheong-o handing him the dainty lollipop with a veiny hand made his heart feel strange. Before his thoughts could go deeper, Se-hyeon quickly unwrapped it, put the candy in his mouth, and sanitized his hands.
He’d put the sanitizer in his pocket and was savoring the candy as long as he could when hurried footsteps sounded behind him. Cheong-o had already given him candy, and there was no such lightness in his footsteps, so no anticipation stirred.
Se-hyeon swallowed the saliva pooling in his mouth and looked back.
“Huff, huff…”
“…”
It was Cheong-o’s handler, out of breath. The handler, who knew Se-hyeon’s personality and quirks, couldn’t bring himself to reach out and grab him, and forced a bright face.
“G-guide…!” Se-hyeon answered by stepping two paces back from the handler.
“Hello! I’m…”
“I know. You’re Esper Seo Cheong-o’s handler.”
“Ah! You know!?”
How could he not. This was the person who’d handled him even back when Cheong-o was active at the main Center — he couldn’t not know. He’d once been one of the people Se-hyeon envied too. Of course, he’d envied him until recently.
“It’s nothing much, I just wanted to see how you’ve been.”
The handler’s gaze went to the lollipop in Se-hyeon’s hand. Lately, whenever Cheong-o came to his office, he kept snatching snacks — he’d figured out it was all headed Se-hyeon’s way.
“…”
“Haha.”
Se-hyeon’s eyes said, are we the kind of people who ask each other that? The handler laughed awkwardly and scratched his head.
“Is there anything you’re curious about regarding Cheong-o?”
“…”
“Anything you’re curious about him, I can tell you all of it… of course, only if you’re curious!”
“Do you like sweets?”
“Me? I like them!”
This time his eyes were full of pity. The handler belatedly went ah, ah! and changed his words.
“Cheong-o doesn’t like them much.”
“What’s his favorite food?”
“He eats everything, no pickiness.”
“The very favorite?”
“Hmm. There’s a Korean restaurant near the Center’s main gate, and he likes their food. I’ve been there with him, and it’s pretty good.”
“…”
He was jealous. His heart turned sharp in an instant. The handler usually ate with Cheong-o and went to outside restaurants with him. Se-hyeon rolled the lollipop he’d been holding and shut his mouth, then started walking.
“Ask me everything. I’ll answer it all.”
There was something he really wanted to ask, but his lips went dry, unsure if he could really ask it.
The handler walked alongside Se-hyeon, matching his pace.
“Since when have you been his handler?”
“I think since right after Cheong-o manifested.”
Sharp stones rolled around inside Se-hyeon’s body. To have known him since before he knew a version of him he didn’t know — he was just jealous. Se-hyeon, sulky, kicked a stone on the ground.
“…Um.”
“Yes!”
“…How many people were there?”
“What?”
His voice was too small for the handler to hear, so the handler bent down. Heat rose, and Se-hyeon closed his eyes, then opened them, and asked again in a small voice.
“How many people has he dated?”
“Ah.”
“Honestly.”
“Uh… hmm…”
He could hear the sound of rolling eyes all the way over. To think that long about it? He’d expected it, but having it confirmed felt bad, and he bit his lip hard.
So many sharp stones had rolled that he thought they’d turned into needles. Thinking of the people who must have been by his side made his stomach hurt.
“I think… it wasn’t as many as you’d think…?”
“…There were a few, though.”
“So, very few…”
“Please keep what I asked a secret.”
“Got it.”
He’d gone and made a scene offering to tell him everything and only caused trouble. The handler’s vision went dark, and he shut his mouth and entered the building with Se-hyeon. The moment they were inside, Se-hyeon turned toward the Guiding Center as if they’d never spoken, and the handler waited for the elevator, slapping his own mouth.
After thoroughly brushing his teeth in the relatively unfrequented bathroom, Se-hyeon found the Center Director waiting for him at the door and bowed.
He’d left his lunchbox behind, and since he’d also left his sanitizer in the guiding room, his hands felt grimy — but he couldn’t just tell the Center Director, who was waiting for him, to move.
“Se-hyeon, did you enjoy your lunch?”
“Can we go inside and talk for a bit?”
“What is it?”
“Yes, inside…”
At the Director’s suspicious behavior, Se-hyeon narrowed his eyes. Leaving the Director forcing a smile, Se-hyeon opened the door, set down his toothbrush holder, and squeezed out sanitizer first. Then he recommended some to the Director too.
“Yes, I should.”
The Director spread the sanitizer that had fallen from midair evenly, cleared his throat with a fake cough, and attempted conversation.
“These days… how is it?”
“How is what?”
“No, well… guiding requests have been coming in steadily, and apart from that, how’s life? Things like that?”
Why is he asking that all of a sudden? Se-hyeon looked up at the Director with suspicious eyes. It felt like their positions had switched, but the Director had a problem to solve.
“Se-hyeon.”
“Yes.”
“Can you go out to the field tomorrow?”
“What?”
The field? The eyes that had doubted the Director went wide. The field. It wasn’t that he’d never been to the field… but Se-hyeon, going there, would only be baggage. A guide with bad guiding and bad stamina was a nuisance to everyone.
On the day he’d accidentally brushed skin with an esper at the field, Se-hyeon had scratched his skin until blood showed, causing a huge commotion. He hadn’t grabbed the hand on purpose; their arms had just brushed while moving busily.
But Se-hyeon had gone “eugh…” and brushed it off and scratched, and the esper, infuriated, grabbed him by the collar.
After that, Se-hyeon never sought out the field, and the field never sought out Se-hyeon. At the words from the mouth of the Director, of all people, who knew all of it, Se-hyeon shook his head.
“Do I look like I’d tell you to go to the field without thinking?”
“Yes.”
Do I look like that to my employee? The Director seriously reflected on his past self.
“It’ll be fine this time. Esper Seo Cheong-o will be there too.”
“Actually, it was Esper Seo Cheong-o’s request…”
“…Esper Seo Cheong-o?”
The Director nodded quickly. As Se-hyeon started to think, the Director wedged in an explanation.
“Just clock in at the Esper Center by 9 tomorrow.”
“You have to enter a gate tomorrow, so go home for today. It’s been a while since your last gate, Se-hyeon.”
“Did he say it had to be me?”
“Hm? Uh, yes, right?”
The stomach that had hurt while talking to Cheong-o’s handler was completely better. Se-hyeon nodded and packed his things.
“Huh, where are you going?”
“You told me to clock out.”
“Right. I did. Yes, hurry and go home.”
“Um…”
“What?”
Before standing, Se-hyeon hesitated, holding his empty lunchbox to his chest, and looked up at the Director. Every time his eyelashes fluttered, his neat bangs trembled. Once he got to his residence, he’d trim his bangs, and he had to prepare for entering the gate tomorrow.
“Today… any guiding requests come in?”
“Don’t think so?”
“…I see. I’ll head home.”
Today, all he’d gotten was candy while running into him. Holding his precious lunchbox, Se-hyeon left the guiding room. The Director watched Se-hyeon’s shoulders, which looked oddly drooped — probably just his imagination — and left the spotless guiding room.
His bangs were fine since he always trimmed them himself at home, and luckily he had the uniform he’d had fitted before. The problem was that he’d lost a bit more weight since then. Se-hyeon stripped off the slightly loose clothes, folded them neatly, and lay on the bed.
When he went to the Center tomorrow… it’d be all strangers, and he was worried. He wasn’t sociable, and just touching skin with others made him feel bugs crawling all over his body. Se-hyeon resolved to keep his distance from people as much as possible and stay near him.
He didn’t think he’d sleep from nerves, but he had to try to sleep even by force. Se-hyeon soothed himself and started counting sheep. One sheep, two sheep… his eyes grew heavy. He’d released more than three hundred sheep into the field all night. Past three hundred, he gave up counting. He’d slept, but it didn’t feel like it. He was sure his eyes had been closed, but he could see ahead.
***
Dragging his exhaustion with him, Se-hyeon entered the Esper Center, which — unlike the quiet Guiding Center — was hectic from the lobby.
The Director had only told Se-hyeon to go to the Esper Center and hadn’t told him what to do after. Thanks to that, he was standing in a corner blankly watching people when a familiar face appeared in the distance.
Today too, his handler stood by Cheong-o’s side. Whatever they were talking about, the handler’s face kept scrunching and relaxing, and Cheong-o burst into a hollow laugh, barely listening.
Staring hard at Cheong-o from afar, Se-hyeon held his breath without realizing when their eyes met.
Cheong-o approached with wide strides and greeted Se-hyeon. The handler, who’d trotted after him, bowed brightly too.
“You made it without getting lost.”
“Then why are you standing in the corner like a lost kid?”
“Guide, did you sleep well?”
The handler hurriedly cut in. Before he could answer, Cheong-o’s face came startlingly close, and Se-hyeon stepped back.
“Looks like you didn’t sleep well.”
With Se-hyeon hidden behind Cheong-o and hard to see, the handler popped out from the side and examined Se-hyeon.
“Your eyes are bloodshot.”
Bloodshot eyes — how embarrassing. Se-hyeon lowered his eyes.
“Did you borrow another guide’s clothes?”
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