Han Jaeheon’s fingertips gently rubbed the hole, stretched smooth without a single wrinkle. Though the still-swollen cock hadn’t even properly subsided, Eunseo shook his head.
“If we do more….”
“If we do more?”
And Han Jaeheon kissed him with a smack. Eunseo, at a loss for words, pressed his lips shut. The cock filling his insides still showed no sign of shrinking, and the heated fluid must have been filling his body. And being kissed like that while he gently caressed the spot where the drug had taken hold… how could he speak words of refusal? Eunseo only gave Han Jaeheon a small nod.
As if he hadn’t expected those words, Han Jaeheon rounded his eyes and smiled, refreshingly out of place. Eunseo, his gaze stolen by that smile, only moved his hot eyelids up and down.
***
He couldn’t open his eyes. Eunseo lifted his swollen eyelids a little, then gave up and rubbed them with his hand several times. That wasn’t easy either, with something heavy pressing on his shoulder, but straining with soft whimpers, he moved his arm and barely managed it.
When he opened his eyes, a very unfamiliar wallpaper appeared. Where on earth was this? Eunseo blinked a few times with his dazed head, then opened his swollen eyes as wide as he could. As his surroundings came into focus a little more, last night’s events came back just slightly. And though he hadn’t even drunk, his head throbbed dully.
The hollowed-out memories were filled in an instant, perfectly completed.
“How….”
Eunseo, who had let out a bewildered voice, froze completely at the hot body temperature occupying his back and the weight pressing on his shoulder. Then, very slowly, he turned his head — then whipped his body back around to face forward. Han Jaeheon — a completely naked Han Jaeheon — was behind him. And what’s more….
“What the hell is this….”
Something was still inside him from behind. At the unfamiliar, shocking sensation that surged the moment he moved his body, Eunseo shuddered. What to do? What if it wouldn’t close properly? Eunseo checked his own body for a long while with trembling hands. Fortunately, after a little time passed, it seemed to be returning to normal.
“…I’m crazy, I’m really crazy.”
Muttering like a madman, Eunseo very carefully lifted Han Jaeheon’s arm — still draped over him — and set it down like a feather. But his strengthless arm was too weak to move the arm corded with knotted muscle, and he groaned a few times without realizing it.
Inside the blanket was warm and cozy from their combined body heat. Barely pulling together his melting body, Eunseo stuck his legs out from under it. Then, straining with all his might again, he tried to sit his upper body up. Not a shred of strength would go into his waist — so much that the muscles of his back and belly trembled.
“Ah, it hurts….”
Eunseo dragged his legs over the edge of the bed and, like someone walking for the first time, set the soles of his feet on the floor.
Somehow, he felt like he might be able to stand. But the thought was a perfect miscalculation — the moment he put his weight on his legs, he collapsed back down. Thud — the sound of his butt striking the floor rang out, and Eunseo, who’d nearly screamed, clamped his hand over his mouth and barely held it in.
“Uugh….”
But a moan leaked out anyway. Steadying himself on the floor with trembling hands, he got his legs under him like a newborn fawn standing for the first time. In that instant, watery fluid trickled down his thighs.
“What is this….”
Startled, Eunseo pulled out a few tissues and wiped himself down there. Between the swollen folds, milky-white fluid seeped out again in a thin trickle.
“…I definitely washed—”
Recalling last night’s memories, Eunseo, his face burning red, wiped below several more times. However deeply it had been left inside him, no matter how far he probed and reached, there was no end to it. And picking up the glasses caught in his hand, about to put them on, he wiped those with a tissue several times too. He didn’t even want to think about what the hazy dried smear on his lenses could be.
Last night’s Han Jaeheon had truly been like a beast. With that sleek, handsome face he’d asked if he could do a little more, and the moment Eunseo gave his silent permission, he’d acted like a beast with its reins fully loosed. The first time he’d done it viciously, face to face; the second time, covering him completely from behind; and the third time, soothing the sniffling Eunseo, in the bathroom.
“Even after saying he’d undress me himself….”
Eunseo couldn’t even remember how much he’d cried last night. It had gotten to the point where Han Jaeheon teased him for being a crybaby. Rubbing his still-warm eyelids a few times, Eunseo slapped his flushed cheeks a couple of times with a strengthless hand and started searching for the clothes scattered here and there.
The other clothes he found right away, but his underwear was missing. Only after rummaging around on his creaking body did he spot it on top of the TV. Eunseo pulled on his spare clothes and sat down on the bed with a thud for a moment, then let out another silent scream. Ugh — he’d clenched his teeth so hard enduring the pain that his gums were all sore.
Han Jaeheon — whether he was quietly watching him or not — looked nothing like Eunseo’s own face, swollen taut; his face looked not at all different from the day before, as if he’d never passed out drunk at all — it even looked neat and handsome. Eunseo stared at him for a long while, then very quietly got up from the bed again.
Why he — who’d drunk that much and gotten that drunk — had suddenly woken up and slipped into something close to a rut… Eunseo still couldn’t work out the mechanism, but he figured it was probably his own fault. Experience had taught him to always leave the room the moment an alpha started giving off pheromones — but yesterday there’d been no time and no space to escape, so it was an accident that happened.
Back in high school, this strange thing had happened for the first time. That day, suffering an unusually bad headache, Eunseo had been resting in the nurse’s office, and on the bed next to him was an alpha student who’d been hurt playing soccer.
How long had they been in that same space — Eunseo sensed the alpha’s pheromones seeping in, and after a short while the pheromones surged explosively.
Then that alpha slipped into a rut and nearly pounced on Eunseo. The student had an injured leg, so Eunseo was able to overpower him, and since the nurse’s office kept rut suppressants on hand, thankfully no accident happened. Later, at the hospital, a similar thing happened with an alpha doctor.
The two people whose checkups had been cut short vented their grievances, citing their own rut cycles, and pinned the blame on Eunseo. It’s your fault, they pointed fingers — because of you, I ended up like this. He hadn’t even given off pheromones — he couldn’t even tell himself what made him different, the way an omega could — and yet Eunseo had no words to defend himself. Their ruts really hadn’t been due, and he was the one with the unidentifiable, unusual constitution.
Would Han Jaeheon point fingers at him too? Say he’d gone crazy because of a weird creature like Eunseo, and curse him while regretting last night? Han Jaeheon — a little rough… no, very rough, but so tender — would he blame Eunseo? With the lips that had kissed him, and in that voice anyone would fall for, would he snap that it was all his fault?
Eunseo clenched his trembling hands into fists and picked up the bag rolling around on the floor. He’d already heard so many things from him. Forcefulness, teasing, even light scolding — he’d grown used to it all. But… the one thing he didn’t want to hear from him was blame about last night. Even if they’d pretend it never happened, and even if this really was his fault.
“……..”
Tapping his cramping thighs a few times, Eunseo took the envelope with 8.5 million won in it out of his bag and slipped it into the inside pocket of Han Jaeheon’s coat. Thinking about whether running away from this spot right now was really the rational thing to do — it wasn’t, not at all. Han Jaeheon would wake up soon, find the situation very strange, and of course pin the blame on him.
But Eunseo right now was like an ostrich that believes everything disappears if it buries its head in the sand — getting through this moment was all that mattered. If he could put off Han Jaeheon’s blame even a little, that was enough. So he decided to run from this spot. Even knowing how stupid this was, and that if he ran like this, the blame would snowball.
Eunseo bit his lip to swallow the words “I’m sorry.” Honestly, thinking about what Han Jaeheon had done yesterday, he didn’t feel all that sorry. He felt a tiny bit sorry for putting him in this situation — and then, with every step, curses rose in him at the pain surging up.
Without even looking at Han Jaeheon’s face one more time, Eunseo slipped out the door very quietly and hurried his steps as if fleeing. He couldn’t think straight — as if the inside of his head had been painted over entirely with white paint.
***
Han Jaeheon didn’t contact him for three days. Eunseo spent the whole weekend unable to let go of his phone from anxiety, and it struck him that the last possibility — the one he’d pushed farthest away —
was the right one. That Han Jaeheon had been blackout drunk that night and might not remember the night with him at all.
Even as he thought it was an enormous relief, Eunseo’s chest felt tight, and without realizing it he’d pound his chest a few times. Breathing was hard, so he kept drawing big breaths in and letting them out, and spent the whole weekend staring at his phone.
But even so, reaching out first was frightening. So Eunseo just kept fidgeting with his phone in his hand all through Monday, during the General Chemistry 2 final exam period. With his doctoral thesis defense just days away, he’d been giving the whining Jin Seunghu distracted answers against his will.
Carrying the last assignments, lab reports, and the final exam papers, Eunseo dragged his heavy steps along. Did Han Jaeheon really not remember that night? Walking slowly to the large lecture hall not far away, Eunseo barely steadied his arms, trembling with fear.
Not remembering… wouldn’t that be better? It was the end anyway. If he didn’t remember, this foolish Shin Eunseo could turn that night’s memory over alone, keep liking Han Jaeheon just a little longer, and then gradually forget him… could he forget?
Eunseo bit his cracked lips roughly and opened the door to the large lecture hall. As he slowly descended the stairs, the gazes of over a hundred students landed on him. Unlike during the midterm, they seemed to look at him strangely — the TA coming in late.
“Hello, I’m Shin Eunseo, the TA for General Chemistry 2. We’ll begin the exam right away.”
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