Knock, knock.
It was morning, Cheong-o was gone, and Se-hyeon was one with his bed, guarding the lodging after skipping even breakfast. When no answer came, a short silence passed, then the crisp sound repeated itself.
Knock, knock.
If he showed no sign of stirring, they’d leave. Se-hyeon closed his eyes.
Knock, knock.
This time they’d really leave. Se-hyeon squeezed his eyes shut.
Seo Cheong-o, welcomed by everyone, wasn’t in the lodging right now. There was no one inside the gate who didn’t know that.
Overcome by dizziness the moment he stood, Se-hyeon pressed his forehead and dragged himself unsteadily to the door.
“Esper Seo Cheong-o isn’t here.”
He blurted it out the instant he opened the door, without even checking who was knocking. With that, whoever it was had no more business here. As he pulled the handle, a hand darted in. Startled, Se-hyeon squinted.
“You should eat lunch.”
It was someone he’d never seen. A woman stood blocking the doorway, holding a bowl of food, and his eyes dropped to it.
“I’m not eating.”
“Eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Eat anyway.”
The firm tone made the strength drain from his grip on the handle for no good reason.
“Esper Seo Cheong-o isn’t here right now.”
“I’m not here because of Mr. Cheong-o. I already said hello to him this morning.”
“Then why—”
“The food keeps going to waste. Such a shame.”
“Someone else will eat it.”
“What about you?”
“I… don’t worry about me.” Her observing gaze clung to him persistently.
“I have something to say. May I come in for a moment?”
“Say it here.”
“I’d like to, but there are too many listening ears.”
Too many watching eyes, too. At her gentle voice, Se-hyeon looked around and spotted several faces peeking without quite pretending not to. Irritating. Reluctantly, he turned sideways to make room for her to enter.
“Thanks. I’ll put this on the table.”
She pulled out a chair and sat as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and Se-hyeon wondered whether he ought to offer her tea, the way Cheong-o would have.
She beckoned to Se-hyeon, who stood rooted and hesitating. The chair scraping the floor was loud.
“I’m Kim Nae-seon. I work on the medical team.”
The guide across from her sat listlessly, eyes lowered. Nae-seon took in the excessively tidy interior, then squeezed some of the sanitizer from the table into her palm.
“I hear this is your first time in a gate.”
“So?”
“And that your guiding is unskilled.”
“Is that a problem?”
“It is. Especially when the other party is an S-rank esper.”
Beneath his heavy double eyelids, his round eyes turned fierce. In contrast, Nae-seon kept the same calm expression she’d had from the start.
“What are you trying to say?”
“It’s my job to check on people’s condition every day. Bodies, minds, doesn’t matter.”
Discomfort filled Se-hyeon’s eyes as he looked at her — as if asking what that had to do with him.
“How’s your hand?”
“Which hand?”
“The one you hurt yesterday.”
How did she—? It wasn’t as if he’d ever put it on the table. Last night, he’d fled and hidden alone at the sight of people who needed help, and managed to get hurt on top of it. Se-hyeon rubbed the cuts on his palm with his thumb.
“Mr. Se-hyeon.”
Compared to other people’s wounds, his were too slight to call wounds. Honestly, they didn’t even hurt anymore.
“I heard you haven’t formed an exclusive contract with Mr. Cheong-o yet.”
“…”
“Are you giving him guiding regularly?”
“…”
“Have you ever imagined what becomes of an esper who doesn’t receive guiding?” He knew. Their end was rampage. And what became of a rampaging esper? They vanished without a trace. That was their fate, their ending.
“Medication has its limits.” What was the way to stop an esper’s rampage?
“You’re a guide, Mr. Se-hyeon.”
A guide’s guiding. Only a guide could save an esper. It was the surest method, and the only one. No matter how capable the esper, without a guide he became the most dangerous person in the world, and the weakest.
That was an esper. And a guide.
He’d never imagined Seo Cheong-o’s rampage. Before Se-hyeon knew it, his trembling hands were balled into fists. Nae-seon watched the guide fall into brief confusion, then quietly stood.
“Come get that palm treated later. And eat properly.”
She left the guide, head bowed and trembling, behind her. Young and inexperienced as he was, he was still a guide. It had been a short conversation, but she had no choice but to believe he’d understood enough of it.
Her part was done. From here on, it was the parties’ problem to solve.
Cheong-o returned at dusk after working without rest all morning, glanced over the dinner menu, and looked toward the window with light leaking from it.
He wouldn’t have come out of the lodging, of course, but had he eaten? Thinking about Se-hyeon had become second nature by now.
He hadn’t even noticed the line forming behind him. Cheong-o only nodded and lifted the flap of the medical team tent.
“You’ve been working hard.”
“Switching shifts now?”
“Yes. Nae-seon’s not at her post?”
“She should be coming back around now.”
The smell of sanitizer he’d caught whenever he was with Se-hyeon lingered everywhere. Cheong-o looked around the interior briefly and spoke.
“Could I get some bandages and ointment?”
“Are you hurt? If it’s not urgent, wait for Nae-seon—”
“It’s not for me.”
“Still, better to ask her when she’s back.”
“It’s fine. I’ll put it to good use.”
As he pocketed the bandages and ointment, he sensed someone behind him. Nae-seon came in adjusting her glasses and stopped short at the large body blocking the entrance.
“Let’s step outside.”
Nae-seon followed Cheong-o past the lifted flap and rubbed her neck. Her ability happened to be healing, which was exhausting in its own way.
The two faced each other in a relatively deserted spot behind the tent.
“How is he?”
“Lethargic, as you’d expect. There’s only so much you can do for someone with no will. And I don’t like rooting around in someone’s head without their consent.”
“Food?”
“I brought him lunch, but he never came out to return the bowl, so I don’t know if he ate.”
A small tongue-click sounded from above. Nae-seon barely stopped herself from saying he should worry about his own condition before the guide’s.
“Why did you bring him?”
“He wanted to come. What choice did I have?”
“You brought him expecting this.”
“He can’t spend his whole life holed up in a little room. Anyway, thanks. I’ll return the favor once we’re out of the gate.” Cheong-o greeted her with a polite smile and strode off toward the lodging.
From Nae-seon’s perspective, guide and esper were equally exasperating. She couldn’t rank one above the other. She just wanted out of this wretched gate as fast as possible.
The lodging sat far from the bustling center, but it was no distance at all on Cheong-o’s legs. He made some noise so he wouldn’t startle Se-hyeon inside, then went in and found the food on the table, cold and long abandoned.
He wasn’t the type to eat little, so was he not hungry? Having never raised a kid, all Cheong-o could do was sigh.
He’d only say something he’d regret if he talked now, so Cheong-o chose to shower.
He stripped off the clothes stained with dust, dirt, and blood, stepped into the bathroom, and turned on the cold water.
At the sound of water behind him, Se-hyeon sat up and stared at the firmly shut door. The Cheong-o he’d waited for all day had come home. His body, which had done nothing but lie in bed since Nae-seon left, was stiff. Rubbing his shoulders, he walked to the bathroom and tidied the dirty clothes to one side.
He moved the food, left so long it had gone dry and cold, to a corner. He had something to say once Cheong-o came out.
While waiting, he smoothed his rumpled hair and drank some water. It felt like standing before an instructor — his nerves were taut. Se-hyeon sat up straight and stared holes into the bathroom door.
Click.
Through the gap in the door he could see Cheong-o wiping the water dripping from his hair. Cheong-o met Se-hyeon’s eyes and, lowering the towel to his shoulder, reacted a beat late.
“Startled me.”
In a tone that suggested he’d never been startled at all. Truthfully, he’d sensed the presence outside while he was washing. Cheong-o rubbed his face and opened the fridge. Looks like he drank some water. The water bottle, fuller this morning, had gone down. While he drank, Se-hyeon’s gaze clung to him, ardent.
“Change before you eat.”
“Um—”
“You’re not eating here. I’ll bring it in, so change first.” And yet he wasn’t wearing a shirt himself. Unable to find anywhere to rest his eyes, Se-hyeon looked down at the table.
“If you skip dinner too, I won’t listen to a word you say tonight. Just so you know.”
“Since when is that a rule?”
“It was your choice to come into the gate, and in this gate you’re the only person doing nothing.”
“Then lie in bed if you’re going to lie in bed. I won’t stop you anymore.” He’d taken the cold shower precisely to avoid this, but the words came out harsher than he’d meant. Snatching a shirt off the hanger, Cheong-o clicked his tongue and left the lodging.
‘In this gate, you’re the only person doing nothing.’ Se-hyeon hung his head, unable even to blink.
A useless guide.
He’d heard it ever since he manifested. He’d hated hearing it, and yet “useless guide” was all he had to describe himself now.
He’d tried to stop Se-hyeon from coming into the gate. Se-hyeon was the one who’d ignored him and come anyway. Se-hyeon washed his face with dry hands and changed his clothes.
Cheong-o stood not far from the lodging. The outside air was fresh. He looked Se-hyeon up and down as the boy approached hesitantly, then at the bowls in his hands.
“Why two? Planning to make up for the breakfast and lunch you skipped?”
“One’s yours.”
“Mine?”
“Don’t take it if you don’t want it.”
There was nothing to say to that. Cheong-o took the bowl of food as if snatching it.
Everyone seemed to have roughly finished eating; it was quieter than before. Cheong-o threw out the food waste, came back, and got his portion served into the bowl Se-hyeon had brought for him.
Aware that Cheong-o was angry, Se-hyeon kept his eyes down as they got their food together, then went back to the lodging, gripped his personal utensils, and picked at his meal. He’d been starving himself since yesterday and was hungry, but he couldn’t have told you whether the rice was going up his nose or into his mouth.
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