“You don’t feel well — don’t be stubborn for no reason.”
Without a word, Se-hyeon sat in an empty seat and glared at nothing. Cheong-o’s head throbbed at the thought of having to untangle that. Until the medicine came out, he stood guard beside Se-hyeon so no one else could get close.
When Se-hyeon’s name was called to pick up the prescription, just like before, he darted off the moment his name was called, listened to the explanation, and turned — and Cheong-o stayed right behind him the whole time. Sulkiness clung to every step as he clutched the medicine to his chest and walked down the corridor.
People greeted Cheong-o as they walked. He just nodded vaguely each time, keeping his eyes on the back of Se-hyeon’s head.
“Is wiping you down such an anger-worthy crime?”
“…”
“Talk to me?”
“…”
“Guide.”
The more he talked, the faster the steps got instead of slowing down. He must think Cheong-o was lagging behind because he couldn’t keep up, but if he wanted to, passing Se-hyeon would be nothing. Still, first things first — he had to try to talk the other down.
“Are you never going to talk to me again?”
“Run all you want, you’ll only make your legs ache.”
“Not dizzy?”
His mouth was getting tired from chattering, and Se-hyeon stayed silent. To anyone watching, he must look like a weirdo muttering to himself while chasing Se-hyeon. Sure enough, the stares on him were sharp. Swallowing a sigh, Cheong-o stepped in front of Se-hyeon and blocked him.
He didn’t grab his arm — that would just get a squawk about where he was putting his hands — so he only stretched out an arm to stop him. Blocked, Se-hyeon lowered his eyes. Even bending down to meet his gaze, making eye contact wasn’t easy.
“I’m sorry I took your clothes off and wiped you down without asking. But if I hadn’t, you’d still be out cold right now.”
“…”
“You’d have been carried in here on my back. You don’t want that, right?”
“Wiping off the sweat brings a fever down faster anyway.”
“…It would have come down if you’d just left me alone.”
“It’s burning you up right now — down, my ass.”
“It’s always been like that, so this time would’ve been the same. Do you think this is my first or second time being sick? I’ve been sick so much I’m sick of it. So this time would’ve been the same. Take some medicine, go to the hospital…”
“Even if that’s how you’ve lived until now, not anymore. Not with me around.”
Meeting Cheong-o’s eyes as he cut him off, Se-hyeon’s eyes trembled faintly.
“Why are you so stubborn? If someone next to you says they’ll help, you should know how to grab on and ask.”
“…”
“Why do you insist on being alone?”
“…Then what about you?”
“What about me.”
“When did you ever ask anyone for help? You didn’t. That’s why you disappeared so suddenly. You couldn’t say it either, so don’t play the adult with me.”
“Why are you bringing that up here, right now.”
Cheong-o’s cold voice pierced his ear. Watching Se-hyeon flinch, Cheong-o rubbed his brow and arranged his face and voice into something else — the way he usually looked when dealing with Se-hyeon.
“Let’s go eat first. You need your medicine.”
“…”
“Hurry.”
“Wh-why… are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad.”
“Why so suddenly… scary, you’re scaring me?”
“If I scared you, I’m sorry. That wasn’t what I meant.”
Se-hyeon pressed his lips together. The mask meant Cheong-o couldn’t see anyway, but he lowered his head over his burning eyes.
That brief glimpse had frightened him. He hadn’t known Cheong-o long, but it was the first time he’d shown him that face.
The Cheong-o in Se-hyeon’s mind was someone sly and fond of jokes in any situation. Someone who never got angry, never pushed away someone who came to him. Though honestly, he barely knew him at all.
“Ugh…”
“Here would be a problem.”
In spite of his effort to hold it in, only a ridiculous hitching sound came out. Plop, plop — thick teardrops fell from his big eyes. A grown man bursting into tears in the corridor made people’s eyes widen.
“Okay, okay, let’s move first. Can I touch you?”
Before Se-hyeon could give permission, a hand at his waist guided him toward the emergency exit. The heavy door closed, and only Se-hyeon’s crying echoed in the stairwell. Cheong-o swept his hair back and bent down to look at him.
“I’m sorry I was scary. Stop crying.”
“I’m s-sick, I’m sick…?”
“Yeah, I know you’re sick.”
“I have a fever, too… and my head’s all, dizzy…?”
“Crying will only make it dizzier.”
“But… you, you were mad at me…”
He couldn’t even finish, just sobbing harder. Cheong-o bit the inside of his cheek, fighting a strange urge to laugh as he watched those eyes. This is what they mean by a grown body.
“It was my mistake earlier, okay?”
The crying grew more miserable, echoing through the stairwell. After a moment’s hesitation, Cheong-o peeled off the mask covering Se-hyeon’s small face.
“Did you bring a handkerchief?”
“It’s, in the room…”
“Your bag?”
He was past speaking by now. Cheong-o took a handkerchief from the bag and scrubbed the tears away.
“It h-hurts, you’re hurting me…”
“I’ll be gentle.”
Barely a wipe and the skin was already red. Easing off, he patted the face dry gently, and Se-hyeon sniffled and lifted his eyelids. Seeing the lashes clumped wetly together sent the blood rushing down below for Cheong-o.
“That’s what happens when you don’t listen and sulk.”
“When did I…!”
“From now on, if you’re sick, say so. Don’t be sick alone.”
“…”
“Not answering again.”
“…If I say so…”
“Then I’ll come running.” Sniffle. Se-hyeon rubbed his eyes and nodded.
“There was something I wanted to say today, but that’ll have to wait.”
“Later.”
“Later when?”
“Not today.”
So when exactly. The stuffy-nosed voice was cute. The hand that had started to tap his nose stopped and dropped back down.
“Let’s go eat now.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You have to eat to take your medicine.”
His face still stung where Cheong-o had scrubbed it roughly. Rubbing his face with his palm, Se-hyeon hid behind Cheong-o and left the stairwell.
Only now was he embarrassed at having cried where everyone could see. Afraid the people who’d passed by might still be in the corridor, he kept his head down and trailed after Cheong-o — then remembered the cold face again and felt miserable all over, his lips pushing out.
They had a late breakfast-slash-lunch at Cheong-o’s usual restaurant. Porridge wasn’t on the menu, but when he explained, they gladly made some from what they had. Meanwhile, Cheong-o watched Se-hyeon grip a spoon other people might have used, hesitate for ages, then squeeze his eyes shut and make peace with himself.
But Se-hyeon dry-heaved on the very first attempt, so they had to get a disposable spoon to fill his stomach. Feeding a kid like this at home — Cheong-o couldn’t tell whether he was impressive or Se-hyeon was.
In front of Cheong-o, Se-hyeon rattled his medicine down. Cheong-o thanked the owner who’d made an off-menu dish, paid, and set out to take Se-hyeon home.
His head had cleared a bit since the crying, though the occasional cough still came and went.
Cough. Cheong-o stopped and looked back at the coughing Se-hyeon. Keeping an awkward distance behind, Se-hyeon held back a cough and hurried over.
“Say something if you can’t walk.”
“I can walk.”
“I said take the car, but you insisted on walking.”
Cough. Se-hyeon avoided his eyes, coughing lightly. You had to give him credit for the stubbornness. Cheong-o shook his head, then stopped again at a voice calling him from across the way. Se-hyeon stopped too and looked at the approaching man.
“What are you doing here, you said you weren’t coming to work today?”
“Had something to do.”
“What?”
“Why.”
“Because I’m curious.”
The man was shorter than Cheong-o. Hiding behind him, Se-hyeon peeked at the stranger and shrank his shoulders when their eyes met.
“Who’s this?”
“On your way.”
“Ah, is that Guide Lee Se-hyeon? Hi, I’m Kim Jeong-hwan.”
“Don’t bother the kid.”
“I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Cheong-o sighed openly. Se-hyeon stayed hidden, squirming, and never managed to return the greeting.
“The kid’s shy. Shy about this too.” A finger waved in front of his face.
“But seriously, why are you here?”
“The kid’s sick, so I stopped by.”
“What’s wrong with him?”
“Why do you care. Ease up.”
“What did I do.”
Muttering, Jeong-hwan put a cigarette in his mouth and offered one to Cheong-o. Se-hyeon, eyes round, looked back and forth between the cigarettes and Cheong-o.
“Quit ages ago.”
With a regretful look, Jeong-hwan took out a lighter — and Cheong-o snatched the cigarette the instant it lit and ground it under his heel. Se-hyeon blinked, startled, and Jeong-hwan made no attempt to hide his horror.
“What the—?”
“Didn’t hear me earlier. Nice thing to do in front of a patient.”
“Shame.”
“Let’s go.”
A firm arm drew Se-hyeon in. As he turned to watch Jeong-hwan recede, Cheong-o caught his wrist and let go.
Seo Cheong-o, smoking. Honestly, he was curious. Se-hyeon imagined Cheong-o exhaling smoke.
“Did you smoke?”
“Used to.”
“Why… did you quit?”
“What’s the point of keeping at something that’s not even good for you.”
“But you used to.”
“Must’ve thought it was cool.”
Cool… The small mumble reached him. What was he imagining now. Cheong-o let out a soft laugh.
Se-hyeon resented how close the residence was to the Center. Today the guard was on duty, so they couldn’t go up together. He watched Cheong-o waving at the entrance, then went inside.
Honestly, he’d been thinking about it all along — the contact today had been countless. His face, his arm, his waist, his wrist. But the more astonishing thing was that not once had it felt unpleasant.
On the way up, he kept rubbing the places his hands had touched.
“Don’t bother the kid.”
“The kid’s shy.”
“The kid’s sick, so I stopped by.”
The voice that had suddenly called him “the kid” kept circling him. Not even realizing he’d reached his floor, Se-hyeon covered his twitching lips.
Could being treated like a kid suddenly become something you liked? Even sick, he burst out giggling, then came to himself at the soft closing of the doors and pressed the open button.
***
Investigating a kid who was trying clumsily to stay hidden turned out to be much easier than expected. Tracking down the people who sent Se-hyeon letters on a regular basis led to an orphanage far from both the Center and the bakery.
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